Today’s Menu

We have this weekly cooking thing after the Chief Resident’s Rounds, dubbed the “Chef Resident’s Rounds”. While we used to go out after the former and eat out at Midtown, the latter started during the Holy Week when most of the restos were closed, so Ingks cooked out for us that day. Since then it has become a weekly tradition, and we go round-robin across the batches.

Now this Saturday fell on me. And I have been apprehensive of this day ever since the cooking thing was made mandatory. You see, I don’t cook. For several reasons”

1. I’m afraid of lighting the stove. I’m afraid of fire, having burned my right thumb after a DIY Science experiment.
2. As much as I like to clean up, I think it’s too much of a hassle preparing the meal, and then having to the dishes after.
3. My mom’s not fond of cooking (she’d rather clean the house!) so she never encouraged us. Growing up, my brother and I subsisted on instant noodles and canned goods, and we were content. Hotdogs and pork & beans were favorites! It was Dad who cooked *real* meals (luv his “sweet meat” specialty) , but only during Special Sundays when he’s off work. Once, he enrolled Mom in a cooking class, and she even got top marks in their final cooking showdown. But she still didn’t grow fond of cooking.

All above reasons add up to: I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COOK. Sure, there have been feeble attempts at frying hotdogs and eggs during the few months that I was living “alone” (I was with Therese actually; we bunked in together during the medical board review), but they always came out burnt. X_x

So I sought the help of Lexi, who comes from a family of chefs and cooks. Actually, hindi naman, but Tita Leslie sure served us with great food every time! And sa kanila lang ako nakakakain ng mga pagkaing di ko kadalasang natitikman, like olives and kiwi fruit, and Vietnamese coffee, and that blended mixed fruit-carrot juice we had for breakfast following that fateful Christmas overnight. The olives, I think, were part of some pasta dish we had the morning after an overnight marathon of… gasp! Angelu-Bobby movies. (shudders at the thought of the things we did when we were young!) Luma pa yung bahay nina Lexi noon! I remember picking them out of my pasta coz my taste buds then weren’t accustomed to such exotic food. =p So at the suggestion of Phoebe, I was made to eat one jar of olives as punishment…

But I digress. So we had an overnight at Phoebe’s, where Lexi taught me how to make breaded cream dory fish and some pasta dish with the richest red sauce ever (don’t know the precise terms to call this one actually)–ooh, and while watching “Pride” on the side, starring Takuya Kimura who’s Lexi’s current celebrity crush. I had Lexi email me the recipes after, but these were modified (apparently made simpler) by Tita Leslie. Being the kitchen knothead that I am, I couldn’t understand them and requested for another “dress rehearsal” prior to the big day. Fortunately, Wednesday was a holiday, so I was able to go to Lexi’s place for last-minute culinary cramming. Tita Leslie and Lexi were so very patient in supervising me every step of the way and answering the dumbest questions ( “How much is a little water?” “How golden is golden-brown?” “What sound does the oil make when it’s ready–’ting, ting, ting’ or ’ssshrrssshh….’ “). The rest of the Berbano household were gracious despite having to wait 4 hours for their food (we started 6:30pm, and ate round 11pm). They showed me how pressure-cooked condensada can turn brown and become caramel. We also roasted cashew nuts and prepared their version of Honey Balsamic Vinaigrette which had honey and Dijon mustard and sun-dried tomatoes…

Eve of the big day, I got off work quite late, and was in a rush shopping for the ingredients I would need. I even had to go to a second supermarket to buy the breading mix and fresh basil leaves coz the first one didn’t carry those items. And I can’t afford to compromise! I woke up very early today, and started preparing at 7 AM. I figured that at my (beginner’s) pace, I would finish in time for lunch. True enough, I finished at 12:30 PM. Sustained a few oil tilamsiks, but there were no major disasters.

So today’s menu consisted of: Breaded Cream Dory Fish with Mushroom Parmigiana Sauce, Salad Greens with choice of Honey Balsamic Vinaigrette or Honey Mustard Dressing (<–this latter was a freebie that came with the greens), and Caramel Banana Boats.

THE VERDICT WAS… GOOD. Yehey! My first un-supervised cookery…. Oh, and I had to prepare for a dozen people. One even remarked, “Kulang na lang ng view ng Tagaytay.” It must be because of the herbs, and personally, the sauce is my favorite. It’s replicable and versatile–I could use it with pasta or chicken or as a dip… The caramelized condensada was also smart!

I’m posting here the recipes as Lexi has sent them to me.

Mushroom Parmigiana Sauce
(serves 14-16)
* 5 cans Delmonte (or Hunts) stewed tomatoes with herbs — Aggie same size as the ones we used before
* 2 cans sliced mushrooms
* 3 whole heads of garlic, minced
* 4 large red onions, minced
* 2 large red, and 2 large green bell peppers (Aggie like the one we used before), chopped
* 1 bunch of flat-leaf parsley, chopped roughly
* 1 styro-pack of basil leaves (remove the hard stems), chopped roughly
* salt and pepper
* 1 small bottle EVOO [extra-virgin olive oil] (don’t use the Minola here!!!!! this is Italian haute cuisine! no Minola allowed!!!) — Dona Elena is a good, reasonably-priced brand
* 1 block Millel parmesan cheese (do not use Q-B-B like we did before!!! you’re cooking to impress!!! everything must be gin-yoo-wine Eye-tal-yan! !!) — the parmesan will cost about 200+ buxx. minsan minsan lang naman, might as well, right?

1. In a separate sauce pan (preferably non-stick!!! ), fry garlic and onions in half the bottle of olive oil. Fry until fragrant, and onions are limp (with joy!). Keep stirring while frying; do not allow the garlic to brown, ever, or everything will be bitter. Like Amadeo Bitter.
2. Once everything is golden and fragrant, add bell peppers and mushrooms. Keep stirring for 1 minute. Then add the tomatoes into the wok. Put a little water into the tomato cans to take out the remaining sauce. Add salt and pepper, a tsp. each.
3. Stir from time to time. Let it simmer, then add the chopped parsley. Cover while simmering, but keep stirring from time to time. Let sauce thicken, but do not let it burn. When sauce has thickened, add half a block of grated parmesan cheese and the chopped basil. Simmer covered for 1 minute.
4. Turn off fire. When it has cooled a bit, now is the time to adjust the salt. Make sure your taste buds are rested and cleaned with water before tasting again. Sabi daw ni Chef. Before serving, mix in 2 tbsp. of EVOO.
5. Grate the rest of the parmesan cheese for serving at the table. When serving, place a breaded fish piece over the cooked rice, then spoon over the sauce, but don’t let it completely smother the fish. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese. Yummmmmmyyyyy.
6. Serve with salad greens (for gulay!). You can buy the packaged salad greens, malinis na yun, just rinse the lettuce before serving. I’d give you the balsamic vinegar dressing recipe but you might not be able to cram it in your cooking time.

Breaded Cream Dory
(serves 14-16)
* 2 kg cream dory fillet (cut into serving sizes; a 1-kg pack serves
* 1 1/2 packs Delmonte Breading Mix
* 2 lemons
* 2 tsp. ground peppercorns (paminta), or buy the McCormick black pepper in a bottle

1. Squeeze the lemon juice all over the fish (both sides), then let the fish drain very well until it’s no longer dripping.
2. Place the fish pieces on a platter, and sprinkle the breading mix (with the pepper mixed in) on all sides of the fish. Make sure the fish is well-coated.
3. Prepare a big, dry wok (preferably non-stick!!! ). Pour 2 cups of oil (recommended: Minola lauric oil, or any form of coconut oil) into wok. Heat until almost smoking. Do not disturb while heating. Never let a drop of water touch the oil daw. Sabi ni Chef.
4. Wear your mitts in handling anything hot. Do not I repeat DO NOT use hospital-issue surgical gloves!!! With (DRY!!!) tongs, gently slide each fillet slice into the hot oil. When you do it right, the oil will gently bubble, with a nice little ting-ting-ting! sound from the oil. When you do it wrong, you will. Just. Know. It.
5. Do not disturb fillet when frying. Don’t overcrowd wok, there must be space between the slices. If the hot oil covers the fish completely, no need to turn it over, just wait till it’s golden-brown. Otherwise, turn it over to fry the other side.
6. When golden-brown, use a slotted spoon to take out the fish. Let the oil drain before transferring to a clean, paper towel-lined serving platter. Sprinkle over with minced parsley before serving, to give fish a touch of color. You can even decorate the plate with a sprig of parsley on one side.
7. Voila! Les poisson are ready!!!

Balsamic Honey Vinaigrette
* Extra virgin olive oil – 4 tablespoons (4 T)
* Balsamic vinegar (substitute: Apple cider vinegar OR Del Monte cane vinegar) – 1/2 tablespoon (1/2 T)
* Lemon juice (substitute: calamansi juice) – 1/2 teaspoon (1/2 t)
* Honey (substitute: brown sugar) – 1-2 teaspoons (1-2 t), depends on how sweet you want it to be
* Dijon mustard (substitute: any plain mustard) – 1 teaspoon (1 t)
* Garlic – 1 to 2 cloves, minced
* Onion – 1 small onion, minced
* Salt and pepper – to taste

1. Mix them all together in a bowl, or shake in a bottle. Basta the overall taste should be: not too sour, not too sweet, and not too salty. Adjust the proportion of ingredients when necessary.
2. Voila! Great with any kind of lettuce (romaine, arugula, or iceberg). Also perfect with slices of gruyere or emmenthal cheese, and toasted whole-wheat bread.

Red-armed and dangerous

I dreamed I had bacterial meningitis. In it, I was having forced gaze deviation to the right with secondary generalized tonic convulsions. Ugh! X_X The dream must have spawned from a conversation I had earlier with Tolits and Lowe, of paranoia about having certain afflictions. I think I have azotemia, pre-renal, secondary to coffee-induced diuresis, coz my eyes are sometimes puffy in the mornings. Or fronto-temporal lobe dementia coz I’m becoming forgetful these days. Or that I might have intracranial aneurysms, silently biding their time til rupture. Tolits expressed DNR; he and Lowe both wanted sudden cardiac death. And while the idea of painless death is appealing, I would want to be ready for when I die, having have said my due “thank yous” and “i love yous” and “i’m sorry” to the people I am grateful for, love and have hurt.

Anyway, barely halfway into MICU rotation and my batting average is 1 in-patient and 4 morts. This is in stark contrast to my previous MICU rotation in August wherein I had the most benign lola for permanent pacemaker insertion. My co-residents blame it on my red duty bag. I am in denial/challenging the notion that red attracts toxicity, for I love my red bag. It’s got lots of pockets, and the main compartment has two divisions, one for my instruments (stethoscope, neurohammer, fundoscope, tuning fork) and the other one for the papers so they don’t get crumpled.

Tools of the trade.

It is the hallmark of every resident of our department to carry around a bag (yes, even the men!), equipped with the tools of our trade, just as every IM resident has a stethoscope slung around his neck, or a Surgery resident with his carabiner of keys and scissors dangling from his belt loop, or an Anesthesiologist with his huge trolley bag of sedatives and anesthetics and muscle relaxants. The generic color is black, but Kathy’s is grey, Sir Richie and Cha’s are green, and mine is a *histrionic* red one, with tassled zippers and gold accents, which is attracting more than just attention.

So it’s those things above, plus my callroom keys and cellphone that I lug around. I leave my wallet in another bag (a black one), which contains my other personal effects. In first year, when I was frontline at the ER, I sometimes had Telebrix bottles and Diazepam vials in my bag. =p

Without much digression from the bag topic, I’m adding to My Wishlist, (#13) a bag organizer. =p And to the “things-that-money-can’t-buy” category, (#5) no more mortalities.

Biik!

Currently watching “Dal Ja’s Spring” and it’s fun! Of all the K-drama heroines, Oh Dal Ja is the most I can relate to and these screen caps from Episode 9 pretty much illustrate how I’ve been these past few weeks.

Argh! Now my pants are starting to get tight! X_X I tried cutting back on my daily intake, but I always end up feeling like Dal Ja in the last frame above. ^_^;; And food is one of the *few* pleasures I get to indulge in. I know I should be exercising, but I haven’t got the time nor the money for gym fees… Really, I’M JUST TOO LAZY!!!! It’s even a chore getting up early in the mornings. @_@

Yesterday it was my birthday
I hung one more year on the line
I should be depressed
My life’s a mess
But I’m having a good time

I’ve been loving and loving
And loving
I’m exhausted from loving so well
I should go to bed
But a voice in my head
Says “Ah, what the hell”

- Paul Simon “Have a Good Time”

Thursday the 12th

It’s the ICAS next week. Everything seems to be going fine. (Visa – Check. Flight – Check. Accommodations – Check. Registration – Check. ICAS poster – Working at it…) And it’s scaring me!!!! I already have this mental itinerary (long-conceived in my mind ever since I started surfing the Korean Wave) that I’ve been wanting to map on paper coz I don’t wanna waste a minute getting lost. But I’m afraid it might be a case of counting the chickens even before the eggs have hatched. Yes, I’m becoming more superstitious lately. But superstition has been proving itself true these recent weeks months. So I’m trying hard not to be too excited, lest I jinx this one and be disappointed.

Komapsumnida!

I had the weekend off! Spent most of it holed up alone in the dorm (Natzi and Cha were away), going out only for meals and Mass. Slept off most of my post-duty Saturday. Watched DVDs. And for a semblance of productivity, did the laundry. Ok, so I have yet to do the dishes and fix my closet and hang the clean clothes. But hey, I managed to debulk my laundry pile by 80%!!

Finally finished watching “Thank You.” Mr. Lee has died… finally. And damn, it saddened me. Why did he have to give out those choco pies on the eve of his death? Now I feel like one of those villagers who looked down on Young Shin and her family (including Grandpa). Other touching scenes for me (aside from the choco-pie give-away) were: 1) Young Shin blaming Grandpa for having taught her to be selfless; 2) Young Shin trying to shield Bom from the awful truth of her having AIDS; 3) Bom shying away from people upon learning she has AIDS; 4) Boram’s dad reaching out to Bom and asking her to teach his daughter in Math; 5) Bom singing about this wonderful world we live in; and 6) Boram’s mom and the other villagers trying to stop Young Shin from leaving Blue Island.

There was something familiar about Young Shin, Min Gi Seo and Bom strolling happily down the beach. And then some words reminiscent, though not as cheesy, as “From a world without despair…” flashed on screen. I immediately recognized that feeling of deja vu… a sick child, a selfless parent, unconditional love. I just had to confirm it with Phoebe and true enough, “Thank You” was written by the same person who wrote “Let’s Go to School SangDoo!”

I watched “Thank You” because it was Korean and I needed something to distract me from my own thoughts. Now I am not in the right state to delve further on selflessness and gratitude and how wonderful life is. All I could say is that I sure could learn a thing or two from Young Shin.

Next project: “DalJa’s Spring” and “Fantasy Couple” as per Phoebe and Lexi’s recommendations. I also intend to watch “MiSa” also written by Lee Kyung Hee as the aforementioned dramas. And I am curious about this new Korean medcial drama, “New Heart”.

Some of Life’s lessons–a text forward.

1. Be kind to yourself.
2. Looking good is feeling good inside.
3. You’re not out to please everybody.
4. Expect little but do your best and dream big.
5. Smiling is healthy.
6. Laugh your heart out. Be silly.
7. Live light and keep it simple.
8. Failure is a good starting point.
9. You’re blessed. Don’t forget to say thanks.
10. God answers.

Enough

Of the mourning and the moping.

Time to get a grip of one’s self and move on…

Prodrome?

My roommate’s sick. And I think I’m coming down with something. My throat hurts and I’m having malaise. @_@

Musings

Lately I’ve been musing (too much?) about life, pondering about its other possibilities had I NOT become a doctor. I was chatting with Honey last night and she’s in Italy right now with her hubby on an exchange study program. And I admit I was a tad bit envious. I have always wanted to travel, but instead I spend most of my time in the hospital (Heck! Even the place I go home to dubbed “The Dorm” is still within the hospital compound!) I haven’t gone anywhere, nor have I done anything exciting nor tried out anything new. I don’t know if it’s the rain or hormones or just having too much time that’s making me pensive these days (and gloomy as a result of which) and I’ve been finding myself asking the proverbial “what if?” questions.

Not that I’m not happy with what my job. I am. I love my craft. I enjoy what I’m doing. The human brain never ceases to amaze me. How the tiniest of lesions can cause the profoundest of deficits. How something so automatic like walking and talking, naming objects, recognizing people and loving them (ah the limbic system!) can be lost because of a lesion in the brain. I get a thrill at localizing a lesion and cinching the diagnosis (geek!). And the gratification of saving a patient (who came in stuporous, anisocoric, herniating and in the brink of death) and sending him back home to his family alive is immeasurable. ^_^

Ngyak. And this was supposed to be a contemplative post. Instead, I just reaffirmed my decision of being where I am right now.

* * * *

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.“ — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Words

Sticks and stones break bones.
And words… they slowly, stealthily, unsuspectingly make their way into one’s soul.
They burrow deep and take root,
and awaken the psyche only when it’s too late.
Like water seeping through rocks and cracking it open,
so do words break up a person from within.