I dreamed I had bacterial meningitis. In it, I was having forced gaze deviation to the right with secondary generalized tonic convulsions. Ugh! X_X The dream must have spawned from a conversation I had earlier with Tolits and Lowe, of paranoia about having certain afflictions. I think I have azotemia, pre-renal, secondary to coffee-induced diuresis, coz my eyes are sometimes puffy in the mornings. Or fronto-temporal lobe dementia coz I’m becoming forgetful these days. Or that I might have intracranial aneurysms, silently biding their time til rupture. Tolits expressed DNR; he and Lowe both wanted sudden cardiac death. And while the idea of painless death is appealing, I would want to be ready for when I die, having have said my due “thank yous” and “i love yous” and “i’m sorry” to the people I am grateful for, love and have hurt.
Anyway, barely halfway into MICU rotation and my batting average is 1 in-patient and 4 morts. 
This is in stark contrast to my previous MICU rotation in August wherein I had the most benign lola for permanent pacemaker insertion. 
My co-residents blame it on my red duty bag. I am in denial/challenging the notion that red attracts toxicity, for I love my red bag. It’s got lots of pockets, and the main compartment has two divisions, one for my instruments (stethoscope, neurohammer, fundoscope, tuning fork) and the other one for the papers so they don’t get crumpled.
Tools of the trade.
It is the hallmark of every resident of our department to carry around a bag (yes, even the men!), equipped with the tools of our trade, just as every IM resident has a stethoscope slung around his neck, or a Surgery resident with his carabiner of keys and scissors dangling from his belt loop, or an Anesthesiologist with his huge trolley bag of sedatives and anesthetics and muscle relaxants. The generic color is black, but Kathy’s is grey, Sir Richie and Cha’s are green, and mine is a *histrionic* red one, with tassled zippers and gold accents, which is attracting more than just attention.
So it’s those things above, plus my callroom keys and cellphone that I lug around. I leave my wallet in another bag (a black one), which contains my other personal effects. In first year, when I was frontline at the ER, I sometimes had Telebrix bottles and Diazepam vials in my bag. =p
Without much digression from the bag topic, I’m adding to My Wishlist, (#13) a bag organizer. =p And to the “things-that-money-can’t-buy” category, (#5) no more mortalities.
